LYRICS
Message from Xenu
I have a message from Xenu
For Mr Tom Cruise
It says I’ve escaped
From my prison on Hlaktock 8
The message continues
I’m on my way to Hollywood
I’m coming to get you
In my DC8
There’s no escape
The message continues
Tom, you don’t know psychiatry I do!
You shouldn’t have messed with the R6 implant
Did you get that Tom Cruise?
I said I’m coming to get you
And your pretty wife
And John Travolta
It’s time for your tax inspections!
The message continues
I’m going to gather you
And all the other scientologists
In my DC8
And take you into space
I’m going to stack you
At the base
Of a big volcano
On Hlaktock 8
And build a wall of fire
With hydrogen bombs
When you’re dead
I’m going to hoover your souls
With my soul collector
And put you in little boxes
Then I’ll take you
To the movies
To watch top gun
For the next 200 million years
The R7 implant
Will be your new religion
This was a message from Xenu
A message from Xenu
A message from Xenu
For Mr Tom Cruise
And half of hollywood
FIVE PORTIONS EP
Trouble
I was walking down the lane
When it began to rain
And as the raindrops hit my head
I started to think about death
I was halfway along the pier
When I had a better idea
I would take my angst and fear
And channel them into a song
I’ve got trouble on the brain
I’m in so much pain
I feel like a dog that’s been
Left out all night in the rain
I heard the ocean roar
I wrote I was the shore
And that the deep blue sea
Was life crashing down on me
But on the way back to my flat
I saw a runover cat
And I amended my song to say that
Life is just one horrible mess
I’m in so much pain
It’s driving me insane
I’m going to have to sing
In an agonised American drawl
Trouble on the brain
These depths of suffering
Can only be expressed in
Tortured sounding oohs and ahhs
Oohhh, ahhh
Trouble on the brain
I just can’t explain
So I’ll shut my eyes and sing
Tortured oohs and ahhs again
Ohhh…
Five Portions
(chorus) Five portions a
day x2
That’s what they say
Five portions a day
To keep my blues at bay
I need five portions a day
I went to the café
They didn’t have any
I went to the store
Still I needed more
Five portions a day
That’s what they say
Chorus
I’m not exactly sure
How big each portion should be
Or if they’re really big ones
Why not just have three
But five portions a day
Is the recommended intake
Five portions a day x2
You’d better not disobey
If you want to reach a ripe old age
Don’t need no national debate
Just five portions a day
Year Abroad
Travel broadens the mind
As everybody knows
And makes you a rounder, more interesting
person
So the story goes
So tell me about your travels
I really want to know
You visited the highest bridge in the world
That's fascinating
Don't stop
You're not boring me at all
Did you take any photos
Of your year abroad
I really want to see those
Travel broadens the mind
All the evidence shows
The currency in ladeeda is the blah-blah-blah
I didn't know that
Don't stop
You're not boring me at all
I'm really interested
In your year abroad
Your year abroad (repeat)
Unsigned Band Website
On the Internet Highway
There’s a new gang around
We call ourselves Fluxor Terrifica
Like nothing else we sound
Got to build up a following
To get that record deal
Utilising the Internet
We can reach millions of people
Got a myspace account
With seven hundred friends
But they don’t come to our gigs
As most are just other bands
As I began to feel
The soil falling over my head
I went to my inbox
And found an email that read
Sign up to our unsigned band website
It’s a lively place
With over 2000 bands
Sign up and build up your fanbase
For thirty dollars a year
You’ll get noticed here